Support system. Do something goofy - particularly if you are in NO mood for nonsense. Feel the coldness in your throat and against your hand. Name the products you're using and even describe to yourself why you like/use them. Again, it sounds so simple, but you'll be amazed by how often the times you're completely overwhelmed youre actually holding your breath. Set a 15 minute timer to check back in and observe what level they're at now. Use your imagery techniques - particularly for pain or intense emotions. Smell each individual product before using it. Once that has been discovered, you will be better able to tackle things appropriately, to meet that need or fear, instead of just exhausting yourself on symptom management skills that won't work until that primary issue is resolved. :) ), Take some ice in your hands or place it in a baggie and hold it for a little while. Remember: You do not have to stay. Beauty After Bruises | | | | Family, Community & Non-Profit >> Non-Profit. The Foundation for Enhancing Communities is registered in each state requiring such registration for charitable solicitation.Registration does not imply endorsement. Or, find a podcast youve never listened to before and give it a try. Personalization is key when it comes to grounding. Referring to these can save you a ton of mental energy when you find yourself in a sudden and intense spell of dissociation and can't even remember what you're supposed to do or think or what coping skills even are. If youre a passenger, look around the inside of the car instead of out the window for a bit. It helps compartmentalize the experience, or cast parts of it far outside of conscious thought, where it cannot be reached. Hum. You also deserve to have control over your mind - no longer at its mercy when it throws these things at you when your guards at its lowest. Just awaken yourself to whats before you. Discover (and save!) ), If youre struggling with derealism, start naming all the things you know to be inarguably true. You probably still need it, too. Start with just wiggling and scrunching your toes. Soft or stinging? If they were a weather condition, which would you see? Notice other anachronisms and things that couldnt have existed at the time of the memory. Try to say ridiculous tongue-twisters. Can you see the moon from where you are? Remind yourself that while the thought of cancelling can feel exhilarating, it almost NEVER feels as good as the pride and happiness you feel when youve conquered it or know the great memories you just created. ", "Are you feeling ignored? Notice how different areas of the body read that stimuli differently. A temperature? Not all will feel good as you complete them - in fact, few will. Your skin and potential furniture items will not appreciate an accident.). Hum. Journal. Please don't hesitate to share some of your go-to strategies for flashbacks below and consider bookmarking this page for quicker, more direct access should you need it while you're struggling! Many aspects of the mind may still be operating under similar pretenses and using these symptoms as a protective defensive mechanism -- maladaptive as that may be. Go to a park to swing on swings, go down a slide, climb the monkey bars. ..that it is either day or night. Youll probably accidentally break at least once and thats half the fun! Try some brain puzzles like Sudoko, word searches, or game apps with puzzles that require problem-solving. containment or modulation). That suffering is here now. It would be too distressing to be fresh on your mind, or even easily-accessible, when you're trying to go to work or are just making dinner. Notice the intense scent and vibrant color. How creative can you get? Emotional flashbacks, unexpected triggers, and other sudden symptoms that crop up - particularly in intimate relationships or the more meaningful aspects of life - can complicate joy and frustrate those in your life. Go for a long drive. Do you like them? Orient yourself to your body as you watch your fingers move. And, especially free yourself of those more childlike, fear-based positions that continue to alert to your brain that youre in danger. Allow yourself to be upset by all that your traumatic experiences robbed you of or made more difficult than it ever needed to be. (Sounds simple and obvious, but you'd be amazed how instinctively you close them during symptoms, and just how much more you dissociate with them closed!) Feel the tension leave your body as you transport yourself to this place of suspended pain. Journal. Disengage from staring off or focusing too intently on one object or area for too long. Send text messages or write yourself a note on your phone. This can be really incredibly useful for many, but can be trancing for others at first. Our go-to favorite: try to laugh without smiling. Wash your face or brush your teeth. Squishy or muddy? One fail-proof way? Do the same with bathroom mirrors, nightstands, bedroom walls or any other place that you know you commonly struggle. No longer all up to you! You can make them either discrete or super bold depending on your living situation or understanding of those around you. Grounding 101: Featuring 101 Grounding Techniques. ", "I am competent. TVs didn't look like this. Leave crowded or busy rooms. Shoot some hoops, pepper with a volleyball, kick around a soccer ball. ..that you are either alone or in the company of people. Trial and error is another key here! .youll soon be dying over the sound that just escaped your mouth and the ridiculous face you just made trying. Play a guitar or piano, or other instrument (if thats something you can do). Send text messages or write yourself a note on your phone. Go swimming if its an option or isnt a triggering experience for you. What color is it? Repeat a personal mantra. We do know it can sometimes feel impossible to practice grounding before you've put a memory away, especially if that memory is what's fueling your dissociation and making you ungrounded. YOU have a chance to be in control and to be the benefactor of that gift what a remarkable shift in dynamics from what youve always known. With every positive affirmation, loving touch, and self-protective act, you strongly reject and defy everything they drilled into you and hoped youd feel forever. that youll still be way more grounded than you were moments ago. Notice all the new and interesting sensations you feel now that you werent feeling before. Disengage from anything thats too overstimulating. Or, find a podcast youve never listened to before and give it a try. Put on hand lotions or antibacterial gels that have a strong fragrance. Consider making a personal 1-10 scale and describe what a 5 looks like versus a 2, a 7 or a 10. ", "I am competent. Use your PRNs if necessary; take pain or anxiety medications if that is what is causing your dissociation. Adipiscing tristique risus nec feugiat in fermentum. "Why are you afraid of me doing that? (There are great guided imageries and how-to steps for this online. If youre in the bedroom, walk outside. Take a bath (perhaps using oils, bath bombs, or creating a calming environment). No tool or technique is too silly or insignificant! Express whats on your heart and mind. Then fold the page over or up real tight into the journal (or even tear it out completely). We all need a good cry and to feel safe enough to express whats been stuck. Reach out to a support group/group chat for some positive reinforcement. You deserve them. While some of that confidence dwindled over time and I became more aware of my unhappiness and "irrational" fears, none of that compares to what you imagine a tortured child feels let alone what I was about to feel later in life. If you are lying in bed when it begins, sit up. (If you are REALLY struggling with grounding, please please please dont do this one. Clean your makeup or artist brushes that youve probably neglected for quite awhile. Notice all the fizzies in your nose and down your throat. Know that it is contained in there and its not coming out again. Do a face mask or use some other self-care toiletries to freshen up. :8 Things We Should All Know about C-PTSD and DIDTrauma and Attachment: 3-Part Series on Attachment Theory with Jade Miller Article Index, Tagged: complex post traumatic stress disorder, complex ptsd, c-ptsd, post traumatic stress disorder, ptsd, dissociative identity disorder, DID, dissociation, BPD, trauma, trauma survivor, trauma-informed care, grounding, mental health, mental illness, survivor, flashbacks, emotional flashbacks, body memories, coping skills, hope, wellness, therapy, healing, depersonalization, derealism, education, resources, recovery, internal communication, trauma disorders, psychoeducation. ..anything to hear and feel your voice in your throat. (or any other rare color.). But, for some of you, much of the holiday season is actually spent alone (either by choice or circumstance). Uncover your ears. Observe your level of anxiety as you do - how does it change? Get away from where you are and notice allllll the sensory changes outside. Before we get too far, let's first define what a flashback is! Fold the page over into the book so you can't see anything you wrote anymore. Acknowledge the positive supports you have in your life now: new friends, a therapist, a partner, pets, family members, kids, etc. THIS is when my survival is tested. That can be hard to judge if youre too ungrounded. Go through a folder of saved meaningful comments, emails or personal letters/cards. Can we do a role call and see that everyone is grounded and present? Sing along with the radio or your iPod. It takes hard work to override that circuitry, and none of us think very logically or critically when were flooded with fear and adrenaline. on April 16, 2021. Just take a moment to rock it like you always do. So, unfortunately, the very skill that protected us the most during our trauma and is what got us through becomes a maladaptive, and at times dangerous,coping mechanism in adulthood. Achieving that level of self kindness can be a daunting task, but there are so many . Discover (and save!) Perhaps choose something with a lot of flavor. (Make sure youre at least grounded enough to know if its too extreme of a cold. aaand typically when we're most vulnerable, least expect it, and it's the most inconvenient! If they were a weather condition, which would you see? So, unfortunately, the very skill that protected us the most during our trauma and is what got us through becomes a maladaptive, and at times dangerous,coping mechanism in adulthood. Excepteur sint . List 10 things that you are good at, that you like about yourself (or are learning to like), or reasons you are a good person and deserve care. You dont have to like it, it just needs to get your attention. Vocalize. Sing along with the radio or your iPod. Eat something - you may be very hungry. Use your PRNs if necessary; take pain or anxiety medications if that is what is causing your dissociation. Try counting by 3s or 7s. When a traumatic event occurs, for many folks, strong dissociation steps in as a means of self-protection. Then you can start challenging the things you werent really quite so sure about. This can be a terrifying concept for so many survivors. Make some mint or other herbal tea. You may just be so overtired that youll never be fully grounded until you get some rest. Try to meet their needs if they reveal them to you and if they are reasonable. My name is ______. Go get some fro-yo, ice cream, or other dietary-friendly dessert. Remind yourself of the date, your age, where you are, and that you're safe now. Let yourself be sad. Yes, we know just how enticing and comforting and mindless this can be, but it may be making things worse. If youre outside, go somewhere new. ;). Engage in more elaborate internal communication if not. Dissociation is no different. This is definitely more of an advanced skill, however, it is very important to include because failing to check inside has the potential to render alllll your other grounding/symptom management tools ineffective. There is no external threat to my safety in this moment. 116 talking about this. And what will you do after to decompress and take care of yourself? ", "Are you oriented to the present? Our inner monologue is far more important and powerful than we tend to give it credit. You may have too MANY things going on at once. Some tools exist in short-lived bursts and just refuel the tank, others will prompt more significant, life-sustaining change over the course of years. Open your mouth and stretch your jaw. There is no external threat to my safety in this moment. Suck on mints or sour candies - or anything with a really intense taste and smell. (Or vice versa.) Grounding 101: Featuring 101 Grounding Techniques! Take your prescribed medications. Take several deep deep breaths. Do you like them? ", "I can't believe you got out of that alive. (Or look on your phone to learn it.). Many of these tips revolve around gatherings with others. You can make one for every significant challenge or phase of the holiday season: phone calls and planning stages, declining an invite, food prep, the gathering, specific traditions you know may be emotional, etc. Hips and shoulders. Try to be compassionate with yourself (or your friend, family member, or client)about this. TFEC.orgPA Department of State Information: The official registration and financial information of TFEC may be obtained from the Pennsylvania Department of State by calling toll free, within Pennsylvania: 800.732.0999. Jul 8, 2020 - The Blog ..a more informal, informational and inviting space for survivors and supporters alike Move your thighs and calves around until you feel all that fresh blood finding them. Referring to these can save you a ton of mental energy when you find yourself in a sudden and intense spell of dissociation and can't even remember what you're supposed to do or think or what coping skills even are. Take breaks. For those with a full workshop of tools, we know how possible it is for giant waves of new or stubborn trauma material to put even your best skills out of reach. that youll still be way more grounded than you were moments ago. Notice the slippery condensation on the glass with your fingers. Call up a friend or safe person to talk to. It is not always with nefarious or hurtful intent. Fold the page over into the book so you can't see anything you wrote anymore. But, if you're heavily dissociated, and stuck in the past, you're only putting the memory away in the past -not in the here and now. Inhale the scent deep into your lungs. It is healthy, helps keep you planted in reality, and reminds you of the power you have now that you didnt before. Watch movies, take a bath, paint your nails, turn your music up, watch new shows on Netflix, read a book, make yourself an elaborate meal, celebrate yourself and how far youve come. Then boys names. It can be hard to access your grounding skills (or other tools) if youre in a panic and can't remember what's even happening to you or who you are. ..like I don't care? "I have a voice. Jog in place. Make it an exercise in vulnerability, safe attachment and building lasting relationships. Seal up and contain the dark stuff there and shut the book tight where it cant bother you anymore. Give yourself permission. Drink coffee - even if you dont like it. None of your other skills will be as effective if you aren't oriented to the present day, body, and sense of self first. Feel how incredibly warm or soft it is. Open up your body. Some activities may also be triggering for one survivor but just the ticket for someone else. In your time, control, and say so. We break down each of these further in the graphics below. For those with a full workshop of tools, we know how possible it is for giant waves of new or stubborn trauma material to put even your best skills out of reach. So, go ahead and bookmark this for when you might be scrambling and in need of some help! Now is when I stare down my trauma, my innocence, my perpetrators - all with adult intellect and understanding - and try to decide if this life is worth living and if I'm up for the task. Do yoga or tai chi if youre familiar with either and find those to be useful to you. I wasn't yet aware this was abnormal or something that could make me feel alien or 'different' from my peers. Do something goofy - particularly if you are in NO mood for nonsense. Thin or thick? The longer we deepen the pathways of self-neglect, self-hate, obsessive care-taking, people-pleasing, overwork, isolation, or self-harm, the harder it is to break free and the more displeasing it feels to try. Open up, feet on the floor. If you're curled into a ball, or have your feet tucked up on the chair, try to put them on the floor and press your feet firmly into the ground. Run your fingers over unique textures within reach. If you arent sure if something youre feeling, seeing, hearing or thinking is real, ask a safe friend to help you decide what is fact from fiction, flashback from present, old trauma messages or your current situation. Because, I should feel free. Give your body some new neural feedback and stimulation to take in. Suck on mints or sour candies - or anything with a really intense taste and smell. There's no shame or guilt to be had if you just can't try something. Some of these actions may be part of something sensorily grounding for you, or a positive stim; if that's the case, just try to diversify its monotonous, predictable traits that can lull us deeper into those trancey spaces. If you have the room to do so, do a silly dance or a even a serious one. If you have a very complicated relationship with anything spiritual or religion-based, just take the time to instead connect to the aspects of yourself that are bigger than just your thoughts/actions. Inhale strong fragrances (they don't have to be pleasant!). (If youre too dissociated, immediately pull over and start re-grounding while sitting still before driving again.). What were the differences? And, I am up for the fight. Make your favorite meal no guilt allowed! List or write down your feelings in that moment. 926 views, 19 likes, 5 loves, 3 comments, 16 shares, Facebook Watch Videos from Beauty After Bruises: Do you live somewhere?! List all of the things youve already gained or COULD gain from giving up self-harming, self-disrespecting or suicidal behaviors. When we are ungrounded - no matter where on the spectrum of severity - we are immediately more vulnerable to flashbacks;intrusive images, thoughts and sounds;self-harm urges;switching (DID);and many other destabilizing symptoms. Breathe. We know they feel self-soothing, but theyre cuing the exact opposite message to your mind in the middle of this symptom. Exhale longer than you inhale. Do this even if you dont have parts. ", "Did someone else inside order you to share this memory with me? Tap the sides of your kneecaps. Be the person you needed when you were younger. I should be dancing and singing and holding everything I love dear to my chest. Hurr huh hurrrrr., Flashbacks 101:4 Tools to Cope with FlashbacksSelf-Care 101:101 Grounding TechniquesDistraction 101:101 Distraction ToolsNighttime 101andNighttime 201:Sleep Strategies for Complex PTSDImagery 101:Healing Pool and Healing LightDID Myths:Dispelling Common Misconceptions about Dissociative Identity DisorderDid You Know? Also a Suicide Survivor working through PTSD issues due to a history of physical,. The goal is just to be aware of where they are at, not necessarily improving or changing them (unless you want to). List 20 accomplishments you have made this year. While it may not always be comfortable to be grounded, and can sometimes even be downright agonizing (particularly when one is experiencing intense or upsetting emotions, physical pain,or any unpleasant life circumstance),it is the only way to ensure basic safety as well as prevent additional psychological symptoms. These are my car keys. Our loved ones want to see us fulfilled, and they enjoy seeing when we carry ourselves with lightness. Or try to come up with silly pets names for each letter instead. 309 Likes, 14 Comments - Beauty After Bruises (@beautyafterbruises) on Instagram: "What is color breathing? Put on hand lotions or antibacterial gels that have a strong fragrance. Make silly crafts or fingerpaint if you have kid parts that need some attention. Pleasant or grating? Sit upright. ..anything to hear and feel your voice in your throat. Roll your wrists. Vacuum a room or do the dishes. Touch a variety of textures and fabrics. This time of year is also an unforgiving battleground to the many who struggle with food, disordered eating, and/or addictions. Notice all the fizzies in your nose and down your throat. But, when were taken care of and thoughtful to ourselves and our bodies, we are not only healthier, were better humans to those we love and care about. Then try rolling your ankles. Some activities may also be triggering for one survivor but just the ticket for someone else. Play with filters or photo editing apps/software that youd never normally pick. Period. We want safer driving here, not less!). Work with your hands outside: gardening, re-potting plants, planting new ones, raking leaves, etc. Experiment with fun, different hair colors and/or cuts. Its so nice to have a few items just for joy or entertainment. Below, youll find a wide variety of self-care options. You don't have to be "on" morning to night on any holiday either. Internal communication. We are here for you! You can also be kind and compassionate, but dont allow that to cloud the non-negotiability of these terms. (You may need a friend to help you and thats okay. ; what is color breathing decompress and take care of yourself with your hands outside: gardening, plants! 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